Figure out what your 'Rich & Regular' is

Your life. Your standards.

Was reading about an American couple who described their financial situation with such amazing clarity.

When they were employed in salaried jobs, they followed the traditional path; living off on one income so they had a really high savings rate. Then they had a child, moved to a larger house, had to take care of one of their parents financially, and the expenses mounted. They adjusted the plan accordingly.

Julien wanted to achieve FIRE – an acronym for Financially Independent, Retire Early. His wife Kiersten was not interested. She had expenses for hair care, self-care, travel, and celebrations. If being financially independent to retire early meant giving up her lifestyle in exchange for extreme frugality, she could not reconcile with it.

Nevertheless, they pursued it. Now they are in this in-between stage which they refer to as “Rich and Regular”.

What does that mean? That they have the freedom to choose the people they want to work with, work that appeals to them, choose their projects and collaborations. All the while maintaining their lifestyle. They are rich enough to take advantage of some of freedoms, but NOT rich enough to be removed from everyday life.

What I learnt from them.

1. Reframe the conversation.

Don’t go with esoteric or theoretical references, such as FIRE. Start with questions that force you to think about the details. Make it more plausible and practical:
a) What do I gain by this?
b) What do I want my life to look like?
c) What are the freedoms and privileges I will have?
d) What is it that I will have to compromise on?

His wife is not a morning person, and what hooked her was the thought of “Imagine being able to sleep in.” Then she was more open to see what they would have to stop doing, in order to do what they like.

2. Don’t follow someone else’s path.

No one is worth blindly emulating. Behind their lifestyle, you have no idea about their mental health issues, their desperate need to keep up with the Joneses, their insecurities and need for peer validation, their finances, or their fractured marriages.

3. Elevate the Everyday.

Julien has a strong culinary background and takes a lot of pride in the food that he eats. When he reached a certain income level, he was so proud to leave the regular grocery store behind and visit Whole Foods and buy fancy things. They don’t drive luxury cars, but they have got the best coffee, and that really matters to them every morning.

My friend Melvyn in Mumbai will agree with that. His coffee machine at home, accompanied by the best of beans sourced from across the world, delights him to no end.

How this applies to me.

When I quit my job to be a freelancer, my biggest FEAR was the security of the monthly income going. Being single, I have no spouse to back me up. I made my peace with it surprisingly well. What was amazing is how overcoming this fear liberated me in more ways than one.

I have absolutely no intention of competing with anyone in terms of lifestyle. Neither do I have any intention of using debt to fund a lifestyle. If I can’t afford it, I walk away. And am honest enough to tell people so.

I have learnt to enjoy people without expecting much from them. Certain relationships took a backseat because I am no longer a well-earning individual (personally), or have the backing of a firm (professionally). I have not let my worth be determined by that. They are free to keep at a distance. I respect that. And I also respect myself sufficiently to maintain that distance.

I take things less personally.

I have not given up on visiting the salon or dining out, but have cut down.

Yet, despite the dip in income, I would identify with the above mentioned “Rich and Regular”.

I cherish my freedom. I have a lifestyle that I am grateful for. I like my slow mornings. I do work that I am comfortable with. I have no debt or dependents. I have savings.

Yes, there are certain decisions that I have to hold back on. But the fact that I do not have to travel to work, defend my existence at the monthly meetings, and deal with the incessant demands and pressure of a full-time job, makes it all worth it.

What I have done is make the daily humdrum of life better.